Change - fear or excitement?

I am questioning the wisdom of my decision to start a new career. Being of a certain age (code for senior) this new direction continues to bump up against how I handle and adapt to change. It’s not that I’ve never experienced change. Some changes were forced by circumstance, some I’ve initiated, all were accompanied by some level of fear, uncertainty, grief and doubt. I have years of experience with change, why isn’t it easier?

“I have not ceased being fearful but I have ceased to let fear control me. I have accepted fear as part of my life, especially the fear of change, the fear of the unknown, and I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the hear that says… Turn back, turn back you’ll die if you venture to far. “ Erica Jong

I am still surprised at how quickly the pounding in my heart starts. Boom. Boom. Boom. The fear, when examined, is either anchored in some old message or a floating fear I identify as anxiety. I do not want it to paralyze me nor do I wish to dismiss it. If I do either, I hurt myself. I have learned (continue to learn) to just notice what’s happening. No analysis, no judgment, just notice. Am I holding tension? Where? What am I telling myself about what is happening? A good piece of advice I received recently was changing the message I tell myself. Is it anxiety or is it excitement? Even that simple change in perspective helps tremendously. For many years I posted this quote by my desk. At times I needed to see it daily, a reminder that change was hard but achievable, an inspiration to push through the impulse that was telling me to stop. But I now have a more nuanced understanding of these powerful words. I temper it with my own experiences – do I “feel the fear and do it anyways”? Not so much. I have more compassion for the source of the fear, and for myself. What I do now is acknowledge the fear, speak to it, write to it, paint to it, draw to it, sing to it, move to it. It will transform and I will be ready to move into the next moment, the next experience, the next career.

“Studies show that for those over 65, people involved in weekly art programs have fewer doctor visits and take less medication than those without creative outlets.” To read more on creativity, aging and change, go to Creative Aging: A Force to be Reckoned With

UPCOMING WORKSHOPS AND EVENTS JANUARY:

Watch for my 10-week program offered through the Millwoods Senior's Association: Heart and Soul - Creativity in Aging. Check their website for registration information